and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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