i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
