Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
