You really coming over, don't trick.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
