Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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