I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
