Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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