u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
