Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
