i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
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Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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