She said her name was "party"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Drunk is a universal language darling
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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