Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
