I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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