Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
