Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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