I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
