But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
