What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
