laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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