Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
