Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
