Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
