what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
