Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
