today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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