At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
