so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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