Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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