I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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