I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
