I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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