i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
