john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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