You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
