Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
