i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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