at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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