Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
