i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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