Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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