i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
