She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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