i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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