Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm so fucking centered right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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