yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
