omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
