i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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