the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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