You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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