As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize