i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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