I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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