sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
No I am not eating basil off your cock
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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