im six kinds of drunk right now
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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