i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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