you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
