are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
