She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
