Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
