A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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