Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
