It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
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It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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